sunday christian

Seems like everything is flying by, and I hardly know how things went by so fast.

I think I have been so concerned with growing up lately that I've forgotten that I still exist right here, right now. I've been so concerned with the future that I have forgotten how very real God is in this very second. I've been so concerned with making new relationships that I've forgotten the most important one.

That probably explains why I've been grumpy lately. Tends to happen when I ignore God.

I'm starting to learn what it means to not just be a Sunday Christian. At Spring Arbor, it was like Sunday every day... I was surrounded by Christians; pretty much everybody made good decisions (for the most part), I was free to explore my faith as the major characteristic of my life, mostly because everyone else was doing the same thing.

When I first got here, to Chicago, I had to rely on God a lot because He was all I had. Now that I am more accustomed to things (and now that I am freaking out about the future), I am less concerned with exploring my faith and growing with God. Sunday is once a week, for an hour or two on one particular day. Not good.

It's sometimes hard to recall that God made a sacrifice so that we could live like life is amazing and a miracle every day. Like forgiveness is real. Like love is true and perfect. It's especially hard to recall this if I am being a Sunday Christian.

I guess I just need to put more effort into it. Relationships are hard work, right? I am realizing this with my relationship with God more than with anyone else. Totally draining, in a good way.

just call me grumpelstiltson

I feel cranky.

Probably a variety of reasons, a 12 hour day among them.

Really, there's just a couple of people I would like to punch in the nose. I'm going to avoid that, because I'm pretty sure that's not what Jesus would want, but the feeling is still there. Guess I'm still human after all.

Blargh. Not a fan of the fact that I have ridiculous papers/reading to do by next Monday.

And basically this whole post was pointless, other than the fact that I needed an outlet for my emotions.

Okay thanks for stopping by. Stay classy, San Diego.

this is me, attempting to harness my inner optimist

Okay. This is to make up for the last post that I made, like, fifteen seconds ago.

Things I love:

-Jesus
-Easter
-The fact that it's warm enough to drink pink lemonade again
-my shiny new mug that I made
-seeing my family
-wireless internets
-my iPod charger (it has returned to me!)
-driving my car
-it's a beautiful day outside
-mmmm regular pizza
-I remembered my stuff for social work
-I felt kinda motivated for a while
-Jesus!
-tomorrow all the Easter candy will be half price
-only a month until graduation!
-only a month until I see my friends!
-my awesome new haircut
-the fact that I have 3/4 journals done for last week
-Journey makes me not stop believin'

Okay, so I don't feel fabulous still, but at least I know that there are good things out there still. Gives me confidence that I won't turn into a bitter old hag completely.

this is me, being negative

Things I currently hate:

-school
-growing to-do list that is sitting next to me
-school
-my current laziness
-school
-journals
-school
-the fact that there is STILL a month left before graduation
-school
-the beautiful weather outdoors (makes me not want to be inside)
-school
-the fact that I am sitting here blogging instead of being productive
-the fact that it's Easter and I'm not being thankful
-switching time zones
-SCHOOL
-the fact that I have to ride the train back and there are no outlets for me to plug my computer into (South Shore = old school)
-my own bitterness
-and, of course, SCHOOL.

/end rant.

Okay, I suck at this game

Blogging = more effort than I originally thought.

I forgot about my blog for a while.

And now I'm just making up excuses.

So the past month has been pretty good. I think I finally got over the adjustment period, so I'm over the I love/I hate everything about Chicago. I've just accepted it for what it is.

Cool things that I've seen in the past month:
Jersey Boys
Rent
Our Town (starring David Schwimmer, aka Ross from Friends!)
A kitten on the El
Representatives from a mortgage lending company cowering in fear
Blue Man Group
Sunrise on Lake Michigan
Obama's Chicago church, Trinity UCC
God working in big ways

Only a month left, hopefully I'll have more stories to tell!

just a quick moment for a post

A ranking of things going on in my life:

Work: about an 8. Lots of phone call making, which I hate, but everything else is good.

Apt: about a 7. I like everyone here, but sometimes I miss the peace and quiet. And by sometimes I mean a lot.

Public Transportation: about a 2. Good: saving the earth, I don't have to drive. Bad: if I have one more late bus/train episode, I'm probably going to freak out. Seriously, closing the downtown red line at NINE PM is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of, short of that Boogeyman movie I saw a couple years ago.

School: about a 4. Lots of homework that I am not getting done.

Adulthood: about a 7. Made a budget yesterday and I felt old, but turns out I'll probably be able to survive this semester. On the other hand, I HATE waking up in the morning.

Future: about an 8. I still don't know what I am going to do, but it appears I have plenty of options.

God: about a 9. Relating to the peace and quiet, it's hard to find, but when I find it, it's phenomenal. I'm really learning how to depend on God this semester, mostly because He's always around for me to depend on.

Mmk, I think that's about it.
Miss you and love you all.

deep thoughts on a gray Tuesday

Ugh, I felt like such an adult today. I went to meetings, worked my required hours, rode the bus home, went to the post office, went to the library, came home, made dinner, etc.

Lame.

Not gonna lie, I really miss the days of goofing off until two in the morning. Right now, it's not even 9:30 and I'm tired.

Lame sauce.

Not really much new to report. I am really ready to see my friends from back home when they come up in a couple weeks, but I am enjoying the friendships that I have and am making now. I am learning a lot, and I feel like I am being trusted with a lot, which is good. God and I are getting quite a bit of a talk time in... I spend two hours on the bus a day, and sometimes there is nothing to do but pray because I can't handle doing anything else when I am on the bus (believe me, I'm taking advantage of it). Overall, I know this is where I am supposed to be, but at the same time, it's still hard to be here.

I've been checking out Paul a lot recently, and I feel like he and I relate really well on this subject in Philippians. He talks about how he knows he is where he is supposed to be, but he also knows that he wants to be with Christ. I pretty much feel the same... I'm supposed to be here, but it's not easy, and I sometimes wish I was elsewhere.

Anyway, I don't want to be a mood killer, this is just what is on my mind. I hope to update everyone with pictures and such soon... sorry I suck at taking pictures! Going to the aquarium tomorrow, should be good!